/facepalm

I am really really upset. No words can define my great loss and unfavorable regret on things that i should've done... Things i could've done. Not this familiar remorse and beating disappointment to my own self. Supposedly, It went well, i know i did well, i tried to strain every bit of my braincells to coordinate and do something for my fuckin' sake. But on that one fuckin' test. i messed up. I washed out. What a big disappointment i have always been. My consistency in failure is exceptional, the top of the list.

House -> school, school -> house.

I dread leaving my house now. Couldn't get near any place that deserve my self to smile a bit. I'd looked down at my shuffling feet as I briskly walked every hall everyday, fearing the sight of their accusing stares, filled with disdain and pity. So worthless...so stupid...so pathetic.

My room has always been my sanctuary, yet it shifted its atmosphere into an unfamiliar black hole. Where every bang of the second hand of the clock sounded like a judge's gavel pounding again and again, louder each time than the previous one, sentencing me to a life of solitary existence until the day of judgment, the very day I find freedom from the constraints of my regrets and their disappointments, the day my character dies. A lonesome death no one would ever know, speak nor hear.