Because I need to have the last laugh

I had been handling calls for almost 6 months now. Had been talking to complete strangers, exchanging greetings, resolving countless issues, bad-mouthed for several times, and had been threatened to scavenge off the streets. Ganahan lagi jud mo.tabang. So, had the greatest idea to work in BPO company.

It's quite common or a thing where customers voice out their resentments for the company. The glorious company. They tell you that they're not mad at you but to the company itself. They apologize, we understand, we do our best to help them, they'll be grateful, end of conversation, no hard feelings.

Today's last call I had came from a woman. No. A man. Who seemed to be under influence by beer or pretty much buzzed or something. I put on the most enthusiastic tone of voice since it's the last call for the day. But this particular caller really ticked me off.

"Thank you for calling....My name is Eunice. How may I help you today?"

"Yesssss. I can't .. ummm.. I can't .. I can't seem to make my phone work." He slurred onto words, talking pretty slow.

The statement was pretty much broad so I started asking for probing questions.

"Are you not able to receive calls from your phone?"

"No."

"Are you not able to access your browser?"

"No."

"Are you not able to get any services from your phone?"

"No."

And finally,

"Are you not able to send and receive text messages?"

"HUH? Yes." he said immediately.

"Sir, Do you have the phone with you now?"

I knew what to do then but the first procedure was to ask that question. That's how all hell broke loose.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you seriously asking me that question?"

"Well, yes sir. Because...”

"Where are you located?"

"....I'm currently located in Cebu, Philippines but our..."

"WoW. You don't even have the accent. Dear God! you have all the internet connections, you have a computer and you're seriously asking me that question??? You know what this will really cost your job. I hope this call will be recorded. Because that's the dumbest question I have ever heard in my entire life. God!"

In my most deadpan voice I tried to calm the customer down by informing that we needed to communicate in a proper way to resolve his issue.

"…Mam, you don't even have the mentality to work for this company. God. For that question. I can't believe you."

Of course, I tried to win the customer back but the point was useless. After he reiterated how stupid the question was and how completely retarded I was, he hang up. I didn’t call back since with such profanity, why the hell should I? Kamo'y magpatabang, ako'y mo.gukod? ha ha ha ha

It seems that the beer was killing his braincells. For God knows how long that conversation was, I had to admit I was at that point of imagining that I barged onto his house, a zombified version of myself, tearing off his limbs, and well, just the kind of zombie who wouldn’t eat brainless people. Leaves and prowl onto my next victim. Zombeh~ hasula. LOL

The thing about this job…. It sucks. And it’s like a never ending battle and you have to endure everyday and every morning. Best thing? You don’t feel anything. Although, these things tick you off but nah, you’ll live through it. At the end of day, it’s just one of those silly conversations you had.

Indeed, this is how we start off our day. No hard feelings :)

And to conclude this post.

What you think I say: "Thank you for calling… Have a great day ahead!”

What I really mean: "Thanks for wasting my time with your undeniable thoughtlessness and I can only hope that one day you’ll end up with one of my co-workers to deal with you the next time you’ll call. Goodbye, and good riddance MAM! mwahahahahaagahaahaha!"

I need to go out more often (_ _ ' )